standard Swanktastic Halloween

Depending upon your personal preference, Halloween may or may not be the swankiest time of year, but it’s is going to happen and there’s not much you can do about it. Psychologically, it’s easier to roll with the flow than fight the inevitable. Appreciate the childish pranks without reaching for the potato (or real) gun. Deal with the aftermath in a mature, adult fashion. The following tips should help you triage the damage to your vehicles, lawn, and house.

Above all, remember, this is supposed to be fun!

The Wonderful, Yucky Egg

Both the egg yolk and white can corrode painted surfaces faster than you might imagine, so make these your first priority. Most likely, your car will be the one bearing the brunt of this damage. Get out the water hose and start spraying. And what about those shells? Since they can easily scratch the paint job, don’t be tempted to pick at them. Keep spraying; they’ll loosen and fall off eventually. For an egging that has dried on the siding of your house, mix a teaspoon of detergent with a cup of warm water and gently scrub until it comes off.

The Incredible Toilet Paper Tree

You’ll want to get to this before the next rain. Soggy paper takes forever to disintegrate, leaving your yard looking like it has contracted a case of tree-bound leprosy. The problem has always been, “How the heck do you reach that stuff?” Jake Swank’s advice – skip the ladder and opt for a long stick with duct tape (sticky side out) wrapped around the end. A broom works wonders as well. If your tree is quite tall, you might have to use a ladder also, but remember, a few rolls of toilet paper are not worth a trip to the hospital. If you can find the miscreants who did the deed, haul them in and put ‘em to work.

Shaving Cream and Silly String

If either of these substances land on your car and sit overnight, don’t run out first thing in the morning and pick at them. They will dry and adhere to painted (and other) surfaces. Like with eggs, spray them with the trusty water hose. Cotton balls are handy to swab off the remains.

Rather than sit in the front yard all night with a shotgun in your lap, dissuade would-be pranksters by turning exterior lights on, play loud music or turn up the television, put cars in the garage or cover them with tarps, and don’t leave temptations like trash cans, decorations, or bikes within easy view.

Come on, this is supposed to be fun, right? (Top image: Flickr | steven depolo)

The Jake Swank Team