standard Swank Life Girls vs. the Mayan Calendar

With the release of our 2013 Swank Life Calendar drawing closer by the day, it suddenly dawned on us that another calendar, this one put together by a retro civilization you might have heard of, the Mayans, has gone on record as suggesting that the world is going to end in a little over two months. Or have they? Prior to now, we hoped that this bold prediction would turn out to be a monumental error to be laughed over the morning of December 22.

In fact, according to a recent discovery in the jungles of Guatemala, the Mayan scribes and astronomers never actually claimed there would be a global apocalypse at the end of the current ancient calendar. The 1,200 year-old “workshop” that was discovered and discussed in some detail on the History.com website, shows that there were plans for the calendar to extend well past the so-called December 21, 2012, “drop dead” date.

This work predates the calendar that pop culture has latched onto in recent years. Boston University professor, William Saturno, put it thusly for The History Channel: “This sort of popular culture conception of the Maya calendar having an expiration date on it is in and of itself a fallacy,” he said, comparing the issue to that of a car odometer resetting itself to zero after 99,999 miles simply because it doesn’t have the capacity to display five digits.

We also should remember that these ancient calendar-makers were working with tools of the trade that were much bulkier and unwieldy than the latest Apple product with a touchscreen interface. We always thought that pop culture put way too much pressure on these poor toilers. My gosh, they’ve got to stop and take a break at some point, and you’d think that working a calendar out more than a thousand years into the future should be enough for a day’s work. Let someone else in the future take it from there.

What does all this have to do with the upcoming Swank Life Calendar? Well…hardly anything at all, except it’s nice to know that we’ll be here into January and beyond to look at the thing hanging on our walls. And we’re pretty sure that the Swank Life gals will be a sight prettier to ogle than the Girls of the Mayan Calendar 812 A.D. Nothing against them, of course. We’re just saying that bikinis have come a long way.

The Jake Swank Team


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