standard Persistence – Not Neediness

SwankLife.comIf there’s one thing the budding Renaissance Man is safe in assuming, it’s that coming across as a sniveling, needy guy is going to result in a strike out in the blink of an eye. Face it, women don’t need your neediness and drama, they’ve got enough of their own. But you also should recognize that, in your headlong rush to avoid being identified as Captain Needy, you must take care to not sacrifice persistence, because, as we mentioned, her Anti-Slut Defense requires that she not cave in to your Casanova-esque advances on the first try.

Sound like you’ve got your toe between a rock and a hard place? Not really. The line of demarcation between persistence and neediness is fairly easy to recognize. This is needy.

  • Texting her after you leave the bar but before you reach your car
  • Texting her 12 more times that night
  • Calling her before you finish driving home
  • Calling her 12 more times that night
  • Becoming her worst Facebook comment nightmare
  • Demanding a detailed description of every action she’s taken since you parted
  • Freaking out if she doesn’t call you back “soon”

Persistence requires the thought process and judgment of an actual adult. You should realize that no matter how well the two of you hit it off, she does have an outside life. You have no idea what her present job and family stresses might be. She could still have every intention of calling you back, might be yearning to talk to you again, but can’t break free from the demands of her life for several.

At some point in the process, it is entirely appropriate to make a follow up contact, but do so without conveying a sense of panic or need. It is persistence to remind her of what a good conversation the two of you had, and your willingness to recreate the experience, provided she’s smart enough to recognize a good thing when she sees it. Persistence without need or heavy demands will likely be a unique experience in her life. It will create interest and attention, perhaps even make her think twice about not having followed up with you yet.

Basically, you’re giving her a second chance. It’s up to you to decide if the perceived gain is worth the extra effort. Don’t fall into the trap of chasing women. Life is too short for that. But remember, it’s possible she really did drop her phone in the toilet and that’s why she hasn’t called you back yet.

Bottom line, don’t make yourself crazy.

The Swank Life Team

Flickr / Duys Photo Shoots