In pursuit of the ultimate swankness, you can skip this post if you can absolutely guarantee to us that you will never, ever accidentally run into a Super Hot Babe (SHB) during the few minutes it takes to make that emergency run to the nearest convenience store looking like warmed over crap. Do you think she finds warmed over crap appealing? If so, you need to upgrade your standards and quick, my friend, unless you're into Kinky Super Hot Babe (KSHB) but that's a topic for another website. The point we're making is you have GOT to present your swankiest side at all times.
This doesn't mean you have to wear a tuxedo down to the local Spend and Splurge for a Mountain Dew and package of Twinkies, but it does mean that whatever you decide to wear, better rock those threads. Let's say it's a Sunday afternoon in December and you're hit with an unrelenting sugar binge at half-time of the Cowboys vs. Raiders game. Do you hit the sidewalk in ratty, threadbare gray gym shorts that barely hides your junk, mystery sauce-stained shirt, baseball cap on backwards and two day growth of beard?
Think this outfit is going to catch the SHB's attention? Maybe, but not in a good way. The first question we have to ask is why the hell are you ensconced in your man cave on a Sunday afternoon when all the football widows are on the prowl? Put your swanky self out there at that particular time and it's like thinning the herd of competition – the odds go up considerably.
But the point of it all is this: present your swankiest face at all times, even if it's just for a thirty second car trip to the convenience store. Who knows what vision of female lusciousness the good Lord will choose to aim in your direction? Would it kill you to shave on the weekend? How about jump in a pair of stylish but still comfortable jeans? Grab a clean button up shirt and comb your hair? If all this sounds like too much trouble, you have much to learn grasshopper. You will never be a Level 10 Swank Master running around in your old college skivvies.
Trust us. We DO know.
The Swank Life Team
Flickr / Nate Robert