If you're choosing to wing it through your dating life and are uncomfortably aware of the inconsistent results, you're not alone. There are plenty of perfectly suitable guys like yourself that simply don't have a clue about how to control and direct the conversation. We're not talking about heavy-handed control, she'll recognize that immediately and hate it, but rather a deft, almost transparent touch that ends up making you look like quite appealing.
A term you should come to know and love is frame control. This robotic sounding phrase actually has a lot to do with the hot and heavy world of proper seduction. When it comes to any interaction with a woman, one of you will set the underlying meaning of the discussion. When both consciously or subconsciously agree to accept the frame, the encounter can escalate. The basic idea is to get an attractive woman to accept a helpful frame.
In the beginning, there are three basic means to establish frame control. The following description comes to us from Seduction Super Coach, Sinn.
1. Don't Qualify Yourself. Sinn defines a qualification as anything you say or do that intends to sway the woman's opinion of you in a positive way. Bragging, name-dropping, or defending yourself are all signs of qualifying. Don't do it. If anything negative comes your way, ignore it or agree.
2. Control the Conversational Topic. Sinn isn't suggesting you be rude to a woman or walk all over her in your desperation to get away from a topic that is not your forte. The trick is to know your strong points and smoothly switch the talk to one of those areas as soon as possible.
3. Pass her Congruency Tests. You may have noticed this tendency in a woman when she's beginning to feel attracted to you but isn't certain if you're worthy yet. That's when she pulls out the bitchy questions with a smile on her face. Getting tested is a good thing. She wouldn't waste her time with it if she wasn't at least sort of interested. Examples of test questions: “Are you gay?” and “I'm not sleeping with you.”
This certainly isn't all there is to know about the topic of frame control but at least you now have a “frame” of reference when the topic comes up at Swank Life, as it frequently will. For now, think back to your recent interactions. Did you use proper frame control or were you swinging way too late at a belt high fastball?
The Swank Life Team
Flickr / madmolecule