It's easy to get down on yourself, feeling like your love life couldn't be worse. Here's some news for you. It can ALWAYS be worse. Take a gander at the following real items from various Florida newspapers and immediately begin feeling better about yourself. If you recognize yourself anywhere below, sorry, but it appears your decision-making skills need some work.
Here's one from the Naples Daily News:
A Golden Gate Estates man is accused of attacking his pregnant live-in girlfriend after she made a sarcastic remark stating she would “sleep with men for money.” Mark Scott Singletary, 29, of the 300 block of Forth Street Southeast, was arrested Thursday by Collier deputies at home on a charge of domestic battery on a pregnant female. Singletary’s girlfriend told deputies that their dog had been picked up by Domestic Animal Services on Wednesday and it cost them $90 to get the dog released. The couple stated they borrowed the money from the girlfriend’s father to pay the fee.
According to reports, the fight began when Singletary’s girlfriend told her boyfriend she would “sleep with men for money” in order to pay back her father. She told deputies it was a sarcastic statement but it upset Singletary and caused him to start yelling at her and he got in her face.
She said she tried to leave but he blocked her from the bedroom door. As she then attempted to move him out of the way and reach for the door, he grabbed her around her stomach area, lifted her up and threw her on the bed, according to reports. She said she tried to get up from the bed, but he knocked her back down. She told deputies that she was eventually able to escape from the house and hid in some bushes while she called her mom. Singletary told deputies he was aware that his girlfriend was pregnant.
And here's another from the Orlando Sentinel:
Two people were hurt Saturday night when they hit a sea wall while riding a water scooter near Cypress Cove Nudist Resort in Osceola County, emergency workers said. The crash happened about 7:45 p.m. near Kissimmee, a spokeswoman for Osceola County Fire Rescue said. Witnesses told authorities the watercraft appeared to have been traveling about 40 mph. A man and a woman, both 62, were taken to Orlando Regional Medical Center — the man by helicopter, officials said. He sustained two broken arms and a cut on his head, a receptionist at the nudist resort said. The woman was treated and released. The man and woman were out-of-town guests at the resort and borrowed the watercraft from another guest, the receptionist said. And, yes, she said, they were riding in their birthday suits.
Had enough yet? Let's read one more, this coming to us from the Sarasota Herald Tribune:
A 28-year-old Englewood woman told authorities she killed a 65-year-old disabled man Wednesday in self-defense because he had sexually assaulted her. But when Terrence J. Edwards was found stabbed 50 times and fatally shot in the back of the head, Sarasota sheriff's detectives determined the self-defense argument did not hold up. Deputies then arrested Jennie L. Osborne and charged her with second-degree murder in the killing of Edwards in his Englewood home, the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office said. The investigation also showed Osborne stole money from Edwards and destroyed evidence of the crime, according to a report. Deputies found Edwards dead, and his body with defensive wounds, at about 9:30 p.m. Wednesday in his home in the 100 block of Winson Avenue.
Osborne, whose last known address was in the 400 block of East Cowles Street, had reported to hospital officials and deputies that she killed a man who sexually assaulted her about 3 p.m. that day, the report said. Osborne told deputies she was currently homeless and had been panhandling on Dearborn Street after breaking up with her boyfriend that morning. The detective reported that Osborne, an intravenous drug abuser, and Edwards met outside a cafe in the 400 block of Dearborn Street. It is believed that Edwards invited Osborne to his home, the report said.
Four people reported that Osborne told them she did “something really terrible” and that she would be sent to prison. The report states Osborne did not contact law enforcement but instead showered and changed clothes, stole money and took Edwards' car.
See? We told you. Your love life could ALWAYS be worse.
The Swank Life Team
(Flickr / Walt Stoneburner)