Since complete anarchy doesn”t appear to be the natural state of existence for humans – we love hierarchies – it”s good to realize that any group of females you approach is going to have an Alpha Female, whom we lovingly refer to as the Alpha Female of the Group (AFOG). Chances are, it won”t be long after your approach that the AFOG becomes readily apparent. You should realize that, even if the AFO isn”t the target of your affection, and many times she won”t be, you”re going to have to win her over or there”s a good chance you”re not going anywhere except back to your seat.
The group”s Alpha Female will be the one to respond to your approach, no matter which girl in the group it was directed at. Ignore her at your peril. Without her approval, no one in the group will respond to you on any significant level. She wears the pants and makes the decisions. What we”re saying is you cannot escalate with any of the others until you win her over. Obviously, if she”s the one you”re interested in, you won”t have to go through a double screening process but, hey, if it was easy you wouldn”t be an Average Frustrated Chump.
If you”re a frequent sufferer of approach anxiety, the spectre of the Alpha Female will probably give you the screaming heebie jeebies. Sorry, that”s the way this game works. Eventually, after you”ve been mauled by a few Alpha Females, it won”t faze you a bit to walk right up to that group and dive in. Seriously, the fear of approaching a group of women cannot, MUST NOT stop you from going forward. The rules of the game between the sexes were set long before you were here and will be rolling along the same long after you”re gone.
Keep in mind that she can”t order your execution and probably won”t punch you or throw a drink in your face. If she does, it”ll only hurt for a little while. The person that told you the game was simple and easy must have been playing something else – maybe kickball.
In any event, don”t let the Alpha Female dissuade you from your appointed rounds.
The Swank Life Team
Flickr / christopher frier brown