You’re at a bar, club, bullfight (doesn’t matter where) and decide to approach a group of girls. While there may be five or six laughing, drinking, having a good time, there’s one little chickie in particular you would really like to separate from the herd and get to know better. Problem is, judging from her polite but unimpressed response, your witticisms and banter spark about as much interest as watching paint dry. You’ve got good material and really like her, but forget first base, you can’t even get out of the dugout.
Since nothing else is working, maybe it’s time you dropped a little Deflection Theory. It goes like this. By focusing your attention on her, you have subconsciously raised her social status within the group. From her point of view, the worst thing would be to respond to you the way she might really like to, with interest, because that would equate to relinquishing the social status she just earned. She could be totally into you but you’d never know it because losing social status is worse than losing a dude.
That is when you bring out Deflection Theory. Shift your attention away from the woman you’re interested in. Focus on her friends, any of whom will respond and engage in escalating conversation. In many cases, the real focus of your attention begins to warm up and try to horn back into the talk. It’s her way of regaining the social status you took away. There are several proven ways to implement Deflection Theory. Eye contact is powerful. Use strong eye contact when talking to the others in the group. When talking to her, shift your gaze back to them, as if monitoring what they’re talking about because you don’t want to miss out.
Another tactic is to use physical contact, such as placing a hand on another girl’s arm while delivering the punch line to a joke or story. Try facing slightly away from your original interest and toward the others. All of these maneuvers might seem juvenile and nothing more than fluffery but they’re not. You’re challenging her ego in a genetic sense and most women can’t help but respond to the challenge by proving to you that they are worthy of your attention.
Which is what you wanted in the first place.
The Swank Life Team
Flickr / eman_winston