In this quick Swank Life episode by guest host Brendan Rose, he explains the three major ways you can get physical with a women faster. Have you been on five, six, seven dates without getting physical? Then this podcast episode is for you. Brendan breaks down how you can break the barrier and grab the attention of a woman.
2:30 – Adding more layers to yourself will often add more anxiety. So, hack away the inessential instead.
3:30 – Life is simple, we just make it complicated.
5:10 – Number one, develop a plan of where to go and when. Brendan explains what this means.
7:05 – Number two, create liminal space. What is liminal space?
10:40 – Number three, affection first. Brendan explains how to do this in a swanky way.
13:40 – A quick recap of what we learned today.
Mentioned In This Episode:
What’s up Swank Life listeners, this is Brendan Rose guest host on the Swank Life podcast. I hope you’re doing well and today we’re going to be talking about your life with women. The topic of today’s podcast is going to be getting physical, getting physical. Now, I like this topic because well, if I rewind to just a few years ago, I was a bit of a prude and if you fast forward to now, it’s a very different story, I’ve changed, I’ve transformed, and my beliefs have changed and the way I look at that has changed and along the way I’ve learned some ways about getting physical and how to do that in a way that’s faster. Now, if I go back to a number of years ago to how I was before, well, it was so slow that it never happened.
So, I remember going on dates and dates and dates and I know that there’s a lot of guys out there that are doing that. They’re going three, four, five, six, seven dates sometimes before there any sort of physicality going on. So, what we’re going to talk about today is not just getting physical, but what we’re going to talk about getting physical faster, because, you know, I know that’s something that a lot of guys out there want to do. So, my purpose today in this podcast is to help you get physical faster and I want you to know, I’m not taking this on for my health. I’m hear for a purpose and a very specific one at that and that is to help you get physical faster, so this is going to be important, because it’s going to help you do just that, which means you’re going to be able to feel more mastery when it comes to your life with women, which means you’re going to be in a place where you just get more of what you want with women all the time. Does that sound pretty good? Awesome. Let’s jump in.
There are three ways I’m going to talk to about for getting physical faster, but first I want to give you two ideas to preface. The first one is this, it comes from Bruce Lee, it’s not the daily increases, but the daily decrease that count. Hack away the inessential. Now, that was Bruce Less and Bruce Lee had this philosophy that I really like, I got this after reading his book called Jeet Kune Do, which I definitely recommend you check out if you haven’t already and this is the idea that it’s not really about adding things, it’s about taking things away that matters the most.
It’s really just about hacking away the inessential. If you’re already frustrated with something, adding more layers will often add more anxiety, so on top of that, it’ll also give you more things to think about. What’s better is taking away and simplifying, because that will do just the opposite. It makes things simpler, it makes things clean, and it makes thing easier. So, think less, do more. That’s the idea here.
Most advice out there, especially dating advice, gives you layers upon layers upon layers of techniques and tactics and if you buy into that stuff, you’re just going to get further and further away from what will actually make you more successful with women, which is simplicity. It’s like a religion to me. Simplicity, you know, life is really simple, it’s just us that make it a lot more complicated than it really is. I mean, things are simple, right, so that’s what I want you to keep in mind. Now, there’s a concept I learned from a friend of mine who does graphic design and it’s KISS. It means, Keep It Simple Stupid. You want to apply this as an overall theme to when it comes to your life with women in general and that’s going to make you more and more successful.
I’ve done that and it’s definitely done that for me. So, I recommend you do the same, but the second idea that I’m prefaced with is success with women is an expression of self. Success with women is an expression of self. What does that mean? Yourself, your own style and personality are what breathe life into your interactions with women, so all the mechanics, all the tips and the tricks, everything that you do, will not actually reach a women and connect with her unless it actually comes from you.
I know that might sound different from what you heard from other experts, but it’s the truth and the truth is there’s no need, there’s absolutely no need for any personality other than your own. So, what I’m saying here don’t just be you, don’t jut be yourself, but do you. Do yourself. Express who you are. Alright, so those are the two ideas to preface, a little bit of the inner game, a little bit of the philosophy to get your mind in the right place, but let’s jump into the ways to get physical faster.
Now, here they are. First one is developing a plan of where to go and when. That’s number one. Number two is liminal space and number three is affection first. So, let’s get jumping into the first one. Developing a plan for where to go and when. Now, what does this mean? This means that if you are going to spend quality time with a girl that you’re attracted to, a woman you want to bring into your social life and create a swanky relationship with her, then you need to know what activity, location, and sequence you’re going to do before you get into that with her, right.
So, a lot of guys typical approach take her out to dinner, right, but they don’t think past that. So, what you want to do is you want to think all the way through, think about the activity, what you’re going to do, don’t think that means you have to make the dates some grand event. I usually prefer to just invite the girl over to my place and it makes everything a lot easier and cook for her. That’s like my favorite first date. Your activities should be something based on something that creates liminal space. I’ll talk to you about that in the second, but the basic idea there is just that you want something that is enjoyable for you so you can bring her into that.
So, developing a plan of where to go and when is incredibly basic, but the thing is it’s so basic that it gets overlooked, right. When was the last time you had a date that didn’t end in the kind of swankiness that you wanted to? I ask that question to some guys that I was helping out, coaching/mentoring with this and one of the guys raised his hand and told me a story about going on a date with a girl and he took her to something that he enjoyed. He brought her into his world, but that was it. It stopped there, because he didn’t think it all the way through. He didn’t develop plan for where to go and when. He just went one step, but you want to think it all the way through. So, he got it right almost. Right, you want to go through all the steps. So, think it all the way through and think of this as your roadmap to her buried treasure. The roadmap to her buried treasure and that is developing a plan from where to go and when and that’s number one.
Number two is liminal space, right. The second way to get physical faster is liminal space. Now, liminal space is something that is described as a state of being on the threshold of/or between two different existential planes. Now, what the heck does that mean? It means that when she enters your world, you make her feel different than she’s used to. As if time has somehow stopped, which means when she’s with you, she feels like she leaves her normal existence and enters something different, yet this world that she’s in with you is not hears.
So, she’s somewhere in between the normalness of her own world and the difference of yours. I remember when I first discovered this concept and applied it to success with women, I was watching the TV show Lost and Lost is a good example of this of how to understand this conceptually, because in the show the characters’ experiences are somewhere between the island and reality, right. Another Hollywood example is the Twilight Zone and it’s this space where things just seem to like disappear and all this crazy things happen. So, this is high level idea, it’s kind liminal space, but very simply it just means creating an environment that she just gets absorbed into. Have you ever been in those situations where you just kind of got sucked into the moment and you kind of forgot where you were because it was that enjoyable, that’s the kind of thing that you want to create with her.
This is what builds massive amounts of attraction and comfort simultaneously and that’s why this is so important, because it does that. It builds massive amounts of attraction and comfort simultaneously. So, she’s going to feel comfortable and because this experience is so different than what she’s used to, she’s going to be attracted to it. She’s going to want more of that and she’ll feel more attracted to you, because you’re giving her emotions she doesn’t normally feel and that’s going to put her more in the moment and cause her to feel more comfortable, because she won’t be in her head. This is what happens when someone enters this state of consciousness called liminal space. The more intense the experience, the most she’ll loose her sense of identity and become absorbed in the experience you’re creating with her.
So, how do you create it, right? That’s the big question and I want to reiterate that you might think that this should have something to do with her and I want you to understand that while you might think should have something to do with her, the only guideline with this is that it’s something that will absorb you, so that you can do that with her. You do something you get absorb and you spring her into that and really it could be anything. I know that sounds kind of intense, like I said, but all you really need is a dose for it to serve its purpose, it doesn’t need to be something grandiose, although if that’s what you want to do, you could. I like to do fun, different things like dance parties at my house and throwing music from the laptop or whatever. Cut the lights. We just made our own dance party. This is basically different type of an experience. You want to be able to do this consistently.
So, just start looking for things that amuse you and make a mental note and write them down. I went for a jog the other day and I noticed that there was a roller rink by my house and I’m thinking, okay, that’s a perfect example of something that I can do when it comes with my life with women, I could go to the roller rink, because that’s fun for me. I think that’ll be cool and fun and that’s my thing. Now, that might not be your think, so whatever your think is, do that. Whatever gets you absorbed into the moment, do that and bring her into that.
Now, the third way to get physical faster is affection first, affection first. Now, why is it that affection should come before getting physical in a swanky type of why? I want to talk to about that, I want to talk to you about how to smoothly move towards closeness and intimacy. When you’re on a date, there’s always a point where some light goes off in your head telling you need to get physical, right, but this is that classic Hollywood scene where the guy is like sitting with the girl at the movies and he awkwardly puts his arm around her, you know, pretends to yawn. That’s kind of awkward, right? Like it doesn’t really feel smooth or feel cool. Why is that? Why is that awkward? Well, he’s not doing it right. That’s why.
It’s the fact that it’s not smooth. It’s created this drastic shift and it’s very sudden. That creates a feeling of discomfort and obviously the last thing you want to do if you’re trying to get physical faster is to create discomfort, so you want to start with affection. That’s what solves this problem. So, once that happens, then you want to progress towards more romantic type of physicality, if you know what I’m saying, so when to initiate that is you want to do that when it feels natural for her and you. So, you want to do this in a progressive way. The key to this is doing it progressively. So, from a handshake to a hug to actually like intimacy and getting it on, there’s one rule for all things physical when it comes to women and the two words is smooth progression, smooth progression. That’s what you want.
You want to take baby steps. One step to the next step to the next step to the next step. Master this one concept and I can promise you’ll see massive results when it comes to your life with women. You can think of it like turning up the volume, right, and if you jerk the volume up, it’s going to be harsh on your ears, but if you gradually turn up the follow slowly, slowly turn up the volume, then it provides this smooth gradually increase that just feels better and better and that’s the kind of thing that you want to do when it comes to your affection and this doesn’t mean like one straight ram that you can go up and you can go down a little bit.
Sometimes there’s detours and distractions, but the best way to think of it is like rhythm, right, like the rhythm is always moving forward, the rhythm is always moving forward. So, it can go up, it can go down, it can get louder, softer, faster, slow, but the music can go from super mellow to super intense, but it’s always moving forward. So, this is what you want and if you start with affection and gradually increase that to a more romantic place when it comes to getting physical, the shift is so small that all it takes is something simple like putting your finger underneath her chin, pulling it towards you and saying, come here. You’re golden, baby. You’re golden. So, those are the three ways for getting physical faster. I hope you have enjoyed them.
Well, let’s rewind all the way to the beginning, so the first two mindset ideas were it’s not the daily increases, but the daily decreases that matter. How can we be inessential – the idea from Bruce Lee and then the second one, success with women is an expression of self. The three ways to get physical faster, developing a plan for where to go and when, number one. Number two, liminal space and number three affection first. That’s going to wrap it up, so I just want to leave you with one quote, which is this, “Forget mistakes, forget failure, forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky day.”
I really hope you’ve enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed making it for you. I am Brendan Rose and if you’d like to work with me personally, I have a process I go through for determining if someone is a good fit for working with me, if you’re interested in that, hit me up at Facebook.com/(BrianDavis, BrenDavis, BranDavis #14:30?) and I will set up a time to speak with you. I’ll see you guys soon. This is Brandon Rose signing off for the Swank Life podcast.
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