standard SL 40 – Marni Kinrys Wing Girls and Dating Techniques for Men

In today’s episode of Swank Life, Jake Swank and guest Marni Kinrys provide the ultimate guide for men wanting more success in finding women. Marni is the founder of The Wing Girl Method, a process designed to give tips and real-life insights into what women think and how this can be used to reinvent the modern man’s dating techniques.

Takeaways

04.55 – Our reactions to relationships are always changing – nowadays online dating is normal and often, successful, whereas it used to be a sign of desperation.

05.39 – Men: If you want something, you have to be very clear and direct with your intentions. 

09.00 – Ask for what you really want. If you ask if she wants coffee, she’ll think you only mean coffee. 

12.40 – It’s sexy for a man to look like he has a life going on, rather than appearing over-eager.

16.55 – Age goes some way to dictating communication methods, but these are by no means set in stone.

22.00 – There are three reasons a woman might tell you she has a boyfriend, and you have to respect and understand why she’s said it to you.

24.40 – The friend-zone: If you’re going to act like a friend, all you’re going to get is a friendship.

25.27 – Being ‘nice’ is good, but in the beginning she’s looking to see that you’re driven and exciting, not what a good boyfriend you think you’d make.

28.56 – Find out more about Marni Kinrys’s ideas at www.WingGirlMethod.com and check out her Ask Women Podcast on iTunes.

Tweetables

If a man needs a woman to get another woman, he’s not really much of a man! Tweet this!

Keep things keen by letting her know she’s a priority, but not your only priority. Tweet this!

The only one that puts you in the friend-zone is you. Tweet this!

It’s being a wimp that gets you negative results with women. Tweet this!

Transcript

Introduction:
Are you living the swank life? It’s cool, it’s classy, it’s cutting edge. It’s everything you want out of life. If you want more dates, more fun and a better lifestyle, it’s time to raise the bar and start living the swank life. 

Jake Swank:
Hey guys, welcome to the Swank Life Show, where we talk about dating, entertainment and lifestyle. This is your host, Jake Swank, and we’ve got a great show for you today. Be sure to visit the website at www.SwankLife.com. Take advantage of our blog and special offers; we’ve got all kinds of great stuff for you there to enhance your lifestyle in many, many ways. www.SwankLife.com, go check it out.

Hey, it’s my pleasure to welcome Marni, the Wing Girl, to the Show, and she is founder of the Wing Girl Method and author of Get Inside Her: Dirty Dating Tips and Secrets from a Woman. Marni, welcome, how are you doing?

Marni Kinrys:
I’m doing good, how are you?

Jake:
Good, good. Where are you located?

Marni:
I’m in Los Angeles. Where are you located?

Jake:
Fantastic. I’m at my hometown, Scottsdale, Arizona, but LA is where I grew up.

Marni:
Oh really?

Jake:
It’s good to have you here. Yeah, what part of LA?

Marni:
I actually live right in mid-city. I used to live over in Venice, but we just moved over to mid-city.

Jake:
Good stuff. Well there’s a lot of people who are single and lost souls in LA, and in many other places for that matter!

Marni:
Yes!

Jake:
But certainly LA would be right at the top of that list. Tell us about the Wing Girl Method and how you came to develop it.

Marni:
One thing I want to say first is has anybody ever told you that you kind of sound like Tony Robbins?

Jake:
You know, I’ve heard that a few times.

Marni:
You do! I didn’t hear it before, but now I totally hear it in your voice. That’s crazy and super sexy. Okay, so what was the question again? I was distracted by your voice.

Jake:
Well, first of all, I’m going to say ‘Live with passion!’

Marni:
[Laughs] Oh my God, you totally sound like him! It’s crazy! Okay, sorry so..

Jake:
I met Tony Robbins once and shook his hand. Well, I met him a few times but I shook his hand once, the first time I met him. The man is giant! I mean, he’s a giant!

Marni:
I know!

Jake:
My hand was so small compared to his giant hand. His hand is like three times normal people size.

Marni:
I know, he’s a massive, massive man.

Jake:
He’s a big dude, for sure. How do you develop the Wing Girl Method?

Marni:
I wish there was a scientific response for this, but honestly, I develop it through trial and error, but I stumbled on becoming a wing girl by accident. I was at a singles mixer at a rabbi’s house 11 years ago, and nobody was talking to each other. Men and women weren’t talking, so I literally started grabbing men and becoming the ice breaker for them with women. By the end of the night, people were exchanging phone numbers, they were making out and then I went home and I said it would be great to be a wing girl. I said to my roommate ‘Do you think I could do this?’, and he said ‘Nah, I don’t think guys care what women think’. But I was like ‘I think they do, I think they would love a woman’s help.’ I went into my room and posted an ad on Craigslist, and by the next morning, I had over 75 responses from guys saying they were interested in that kind of service. 

Jake:
When you posted that ad, what did you say? Did you put the cost of it on there?

Marni:
No!

Jake:
I remember hearing about – and maybe I had them on the show, I can’t even remember – a wing girl service many years ago in New York City.

Marni:
Oh yes, yes. Wing Women.

Jake:
Yeah, Wing Women. You didn’t put a price on that Craigslist ad?

Marni:
We were playing around with price points but we were just talking to people individually. My roommate ended up helping me after being so skeptical. He saw the results of what I put up there so he wanted to help. I said ‘What better way to attract bees than with honey? Sit back and relax and I’ll do the dirty work for you, I’ll pick up women for you’, and men responded! Initially, the concept was I pick up women for you, and the best way to validate yourself to other women is to have another attractive woman on your arm. That is still true to this day, but slowly, I started realizing that a lot of men would come out with me, we’d have a great time and they’d have great success, but then they had nothing afterwards. I then started to coach them before I actually started to help them pick up women. They had to be at a certain level so they could do it on their own before I would actually go out with them, and then I took another step back and I started doing research, I started interviewing experts, I started digging into everything I could that was psychology based, and I created the Wing Girl Method, which is now a method that men from around the world can do on their own from their own home. I realized that if a man needs a woman to get another woman, he’s not really much of a man. But he can totally ask for assistance and help, because that truly defines a real man; a man that can ask for help.

Jake:
Right. I was going to say, isn’t that sort of contrived to hire a wing woman type thing? But I don’t know, nowadays, anything goes – there’s all sorts of creative schemes out there and I think we’ve become a little desensitized to this kind of stuff. In the old days, it was just like ‘Oh my God, you’re going to do online dating, are you desperate or something?’ But that’s proven to be a very legitimate thing – lots of people do it and find their lifelong soul mate from it.

Marni:
Yeah, exactly.

Jake:
Okay, so what are some of the psychologies and techniques that work? On your website, Marni, you say the funny thing is, she already wants you, you just don’t know how to get her until now. And then you talk about the number one simple trick to get any woman addicted to you.

Marni:
Yeah.

Jake:
Tell us about that.

Marni:
I can’t; they have to go to my website to find out that stuff.

Jake:
Oh, come on.

Marni:
I’m just kidding! The number one thing that men need to know is that if they want something, they have to start asking for it, and be very clear and direct with their intentions. A lot of men don’t do this, and that really is the number one secret and included in the method is how to be able to do that, what to say, how to approach it. It’s the surrounding of the number one secret, but the secret is that you can have anything you want, you just have to ask for it. A lot of men, instead of believing ‘Yeah, I can totally get her’ think ‘Oh, she’s too pretty,’ ‘Oh, I’m not rich enough’, ‘Oh, she’s with her friends’, ‘Oh, she’s busy’, ‘Oh, I’m interrupting her’. The number one thing that is getting in a man’s way is himself. He can have anybody he wants.

Jake:
Well that’s true of anything in life, right?

Marni:
Absolutely.

Jake:
There’s a great quote – I think it’s by Jack Paar, and it says something like “My life is one long obstacle course, with me as the chief obstacle.”

Marni:
It’s true. I love that!

Jake:
Isn’t that good? We’ve got to overcome ourselves, that’s the first hurdle in everybody’s life – to overcome oneself.

Marni:
Absolutely. I know that that sounds like “Oh great, this is another girl just saying ‘Just be yourself'”. I am saying just be yourself, but I’m actually telling you how to do it. I’ve broken it down step by step, how to become the best version of you that isn’t clouded by insecurity or doubt or negative thoughts about yourself, and then after that stuff is all cleared, you can learn the skill-sets of what to say, how to escalate with women, how to talk, how to touch, how to connect, how to bring out the sexual side in a woman. All of those things come after you clear away all the crap that’s going on in your head and that’s stopping you from first initiating a conversation with a woman. 

Jake:
Talk just about some of that crap. Like you said, the biggest secret is just ask, right? And that goes way back to scripture – to he that asketh it shall be given, right?

Marni:
I’ll tell you a story. I’ve recently been working with this guy who is in the military. He’s working on a naval base in Afghanistan, and we started working together and he told me that for the past year, he had decided that he wasn’t really going to be trying to date women, he had just broken off an engagement a year ago, but now he’s ready to start dating. There’s this girl that works with him, who he’s been interacting with the entire time that he’s been trying to heal himself. In his mind, he said to himself ‘Now I’m ready to date’, and then he said ‘Now I’m ready to date this girl. We’ve been having a great time and now I see her this way and now I’m ready to initiate dating this girl’. So what did he do when he said that he was ready to date this girl? He asked her for coffee. She said ‘Oh no, I’m busy right now, I’m doing work, blah blah’. So he took that as a huge rejection because he’d literally just asked for coffee. Then he said he gave it another try and he said to her ‘I’m going to be getting coffee later on this afternoon, you should meet me up there’, and she didn’t end up meeting him there, so he was heartbroken, he felt rejected, he was baffled, he didn’t understand what was going on, and he came to me because he wanted to figure out how to turn things around. I said to him ‘OKay, I’m going to do an experiment with you. I’m going to ask you a question, and you tell me what you hear’. He said ‘Okay, I will listen to your question’.

I said to him ‘Okay, do you want to go for a walk?’ and he said ‘Uh, no, I don’t want to go for a walk right now’. So I said to him ‘Okay, what did I ask you?’. He said ‘You asked me to go for a walk’. I said ‘Exactly. I asked you to go for a walk. I didn’t ask you to go for a date or anything that’s going on in my mind, thinking that what I’m really asking you for is to find out whether or not you like me, whether or not you want to date me, whether or not you want to have a relationship with me. I simply asked you for a walk, and that’s what you heard, and that’s what you responded to. You were doing the exact same thing with this woman; you asked her for a coffee. You asked her if she wanted to have coffee. She doesn’t know that your mind has changed; that the way that you look at her has changed; that the words you were using were actually loaded with other intentions. If you want to ask her for coffee so that you can get to know each other in a different way because you’re interested in her now and you find her attractive and you find her cute and you want to consider dating, then that’s what you have to ask for. That’s all of the stuff that needs to be cleared out, because she’s not going to understand what’s going on in your mind and you can’t continue to cover up all of those things just to protect yourself. If you want something, you have to be bold and ask for what you want and have all of your actions follow that intention. 

Jake:
Okay, I like that. The world steps aside for a man who knows what he wants and who’s not afraid to ask for it. Great advice.

Marni:
Absolutely.

Jake:
How does that translate, Marni, into mechanics? When you ask her ‘Say, would you like to go on a date?’ or ‘Let’s go on a date’, how do you translate that into the specifics, if you would?

Marni:
For sure. Okay, so there are several things that you can do. Once you do realize that you do see a woman in a different way, your behavior has to change to follow in line with your intentions. That way you’re not talking for hours about her ex-boyfriend, or you’re not her shoulder to cry on and you’re not complaining to her or letting her complain to you. You’re actually taking it in a new direction where you’re flirting, you’re teasing, you’re challenging. If she says to you something that’s really keeping her down – this is just an example – you can say to her ‘Alright, if you keep talking like this, I’m going to have to charge $150 an hour. Let’s go do X, Y and Z’, so you’re keeping it at a fun, sexy, flirty level and not letting it get to that friendship level where she can see you as her confidante. You want to keep her on her toes and you want to keep her excited and interested in you. Then after that, if you change your behavior, then you can look at her and say ‘You know what, I really enjoy our friendship, but recently I’ve started seeing you differently. I think we have a great connection and I think you are gorgeous (or however you feel about her), and I’d like to try taking you on a date and seeing if there’s something else there. I don’t know if there is, but I think we have something really cool. Are you free next Friday?’

Jake:
Right, okay. That’s interesting too, because you just said ‘Are you free next Friday?’ So you got to the meat of it and the specifics before that, but wouldn’t it be better to maybe be more general on the time? Maybe saying ‘Next weekend?’ because like you gave in that first example, if she’s busy Friday, then she has a reason to say no, and it just sort of kills the whole vibe.

Marni:
She does have reason to say no, but you can also get a lot from her response. If she says ‘Yeah, no, I’m busy next week’ and doesn’t say anything else, then she’s not into it the same way that you are. If she says ‘You know what, I’m not free next Friday, but I’m free next Saturday’, you can say ‘Okay great, let me check my calendar’. You still want to maintain that position of control and not eagerness, right, because you don’t want to say ‘Okay, I’m free all of next week for you, whatever night you want, I am available’. You still want to put yourself in a position of high status, of value and of sexiness – a man who has a life going on and who could possibly have other dates. Maybe Saturday’s your night for meeting other women. You don’t have to say that out loud to her, but you at least want to position yourself properly with this girl.

Jake:
I love it. ‘Hey babe, Saturday’s my night for meeting other women!’

Marni:
Right, ‘Yeah, I’m busy that night, I have another date’. You do, you want to at least, not allude to it.. what you’re trying to say to a woman is ‘This is the time I have available; I’m very open to being flexible and seeing what other times I have free. You’re a priority, but not my only priority; I’m my priority and I have a life that exists on Saturday, and I’m free on Friday.

Jake:
Right, okay, good. What else?

Marni:
Oh, God, there’s so much more. What else do you want?

Jake:
Of course there is, there’s always more!

Marni:
There is. In terms of asking for what you want, it’s the same thing with any next stage. If you’re getting to kissing, or let’s even take a step back and go to the approach first. A lot of guys put a lot of pressure on themselves because when they’re approaching a woman, they look at her and say ‘Okay, there’s a woman, I’m going to approach her, I’m going to have a great conversation, we’re going to connect’ – they probably wouldn’t use the word ‘connect’, but I’m going to use it – ‘I’m going to make her attracted to me, I’m going to ask her out on a date, I’m going to ask for her phone number’. There’s a lot of thought process going into the pre-approach, so typically what I tell guys to do is actually drill back their intentions, and it comes from a place of respect, like what I was talking about a couple of minutes ago. It’s about understanding your value and understanding that you are also an evaluator and selector in any interaction you have with women. If you say in your mind ‘Okay, I already know that I want to ask this girl for her phone number, even if you don’t know anything about her’ – yes, you know she’s hot, you probably want to sleep with her, but if you’re a man of confidence, you have tonnes of options of women you can sleep with who can also be awesome and who you can click with in a better way, which’ll mean you’ll have better sexual chemistry. You want to dial it back a little bit to respect yourself first and look at a woman and say ‘She’s cute, I want to approach her’. That way it’s not like this whole shebang that is weighing down on your shoulders, and you’re actually able to enjoy that interaction you have with her and take the time to evaluate whether or not you want to ask for her phone number, whether or not you want to ask for that date. Again, once you realize ‘She’s cute, I like the banter, she’s funny, blah blah’, or whatever your wants are from women, if she has those things or you see potential for having those things, you can ask for her phone number or ask her for a date, or even right there, you can ask for a kiss. Whatever it is that you decide you want in that moment, then you can ask for it, but you have to slow it down first so that it’s in stages.

Jake:
Okay, good. So let’s talk about how this all plays in different forms of meeting; whether it’s a live meeting in person at an event or a club, or whatever, and then compare that to an online meeting. Say you met on Facebook or on an online dating site or something like that. What do you think the best approach methods are in these different formats? You just gave that example of asking for this, that or the other. Do you think it’s best, in a live meeting, for example, to ask for phone or Facebook connection or whatever, and then what follows that? Is it a text? The whole world is so addicted to text nowadays. I just think it’s ridiculous.

Marni:
It depends what age you are.

Jake:
OKay, so talk about that too, that’s good.

Marni:
If you’re younger, if you’re like 35 and under, text is totally acceptable. That’s the way that most people communicate now.

Jake:
Or if she is.

Marni:
Right, exactly. It’s totally acceptable. It doesn’t show that you’re less of a man if you’re not able to pick up the phone. I remember, I interviewed my sister because she’s 26 years old, and we talked about dating younger women. She was 23 at the time that I interviewed her, and she was talking about how she likes to see that a guy can call, but she won’t actually answer the phone – it’s way too intimidating for her, which I thought was really interesting. A lot of guys get upset when they call and a girl will text back, and that doesn’t actually mean that she’s not interested in you, it just means that that’s intimidating to pick up the phone and people don’t do that anymore. Even now, when I have someone calling me, I’m like ‘What do I do with this? I have to talk to them for longer than 30 seconds?’ It’s just not what we do now. But if you are, I’d say in the 40+ category and you’re dating women who are 35+ or maybe even 30+, I would say the phone is definitely the way to go, but you can also have text as well. We’re not ancient at those ages, so you can still incorporate the new and the old.

Jake:
Okay, good. Go ahead, what else? How about the different meeting approaches – anything more on that as to how the approach might differ in different venues?

Marni:
Here’s the thing. 

Jake:
I mean like online venues, offline venues.

Marni:
Yeah, so for approaching women online, I like people to keep things really short. I help people analyze their profiles and typically, I ask to see the emails that they’re sending out to women. I have my skin crawl at least once a day and it’s really upsetting to me. I see these awesome men and I talk to them on the phone and hear that their personalities are bantery and fun and they’re super successful, and then I see what they write to women and I’m like ‘Ahh, you’re ruining it! You’re just throwing up on women and it’s horrible’. They’ll either write multiple paragraphs, or they’ll be super polite and won’t show their personality out of fear that they’re going to turn a woman off or that what they said is going to be not what she likes. I don’t like any of that so I tell them to make like one quick quip about something they’ve written – not to put them down, but to tease them or challenge them. Maybe even add a smiley face, and then say something somewhat serious to show that you’re a balance of funny and serious, and then open it up with one open-ended question. Hopefully, she’ll then respond. There’s much more detail to that of course, but that’s the basic template.

Jake:
Okay, so can you give us an example of that? Something funny, opening it up with an open-ended question..

Marni:
Yeah, so if she says something about liking some sports team that you hate, throw out a comment where it’s like a battling comment – ‘Ugh, even though you’re super cute, the fact that you’re a Bears fan…’ Something like that that’s joking about her team that’s like a little bit of a battle statement, and then say, I don’t know – I have to see exactly what they’re writing in order to write something back. You could say something like ‘Good thing you have a nice smile’ or ‘Good thing [something else on her profile that balances it out]’ – ‘I can take this but I can’t take that so good thing you’re an even balance girl’. A question could be: ‘What was your favorite X, Y and Z growing up?’ – something that goes with the statement that you’ve made before.

Jake:
Good stuff. Did you want to switch gears and talk about another topic area?

Marni:
Sure, I’m open to talking about whatever you want to talk about for your guys. You know them the best and you know what they want to hear about, so I’m happy to answer anything.

Jake:
I just thought I’d let you pick one – maybe something off your blog or just something that you think guys should know.

Marni:
Okay, so I recently reached out to my members on the Wing Girl Method and asked them ‘What are the signs that are most confusing to you?’ or ‘What are the statements women make that are most confusing to you?’ and I gave an example like when a woman says to you ‘Oh, I have a boyfriend’, what does that mean, and I gave them three different options of what it means, and I said I would tell them the answer later. I’m going to create this cheat-sheet for them, but I wanted to know what they wanted to know as well so it can be thorough so they can understand everything that women are trying to say to them. I think that that’s a really good place to start. When a woman says to you ‘I have a boyfriend’, what does it actually mean?

Jake:
And we’ve all got to understand that there are massively varying levels of the word ‘boyfriend’, or whatever that means.

Marni:
Yes, exactly. So I know a lot of guys misinterpret that as a challenge, right? They’ll be talking to a woman and in some way, she slyly injects that she has a boyfriend. From a man’s point of view, if the woman continues talking to him afterwards, maybe even asking him to hang out, like in a group setting, he sees that as ‘Okay, she’s into me, I’m still going to continue pursuing her’. What I see this as, and it can be three different things, but most likely it’s this one thing. The first thing is that she’s trying to tell you she has a boyfriend and she’s not interested in you. The second thing is that she’s making up that she has a boyfriend to tell you that she’s not interested in you. But what it really is, most of the time, is it is a silent contract that she’s putting out there to you, saying I’ve told you I have a boyfriend. ‘You have continued talking to me, which means that you’re okay with the fact that I have a boyfriend and understand that this is going to be a friendship, so anything I ask past this point, or anything I talk to you about past this point, it should be very clear that I am not into you in that way, and I’m with my boyfriend and I’m always going to choose him over you – even if I’m talking to you about how unhappy I am.’ That’s what’s really going on for women when they’re making that statement. It’s not a test, it’s not a challenge for you to step it up. It’s really them saying ‘I have a boyfriend, and if you stick around, that means you’re saying ‘I’m okay with a friendship”.

Jake:
I don’t know. Maybe talk a little more about the friend-zone, because I think that relates to this. I think the boyfriend comment is a lot of BS a lot of times.

Marni:
Yeah, sometimes it’s girls who don’t really have a boyfriend but they’re trying to find a way to say ‘I’m not into you’. It’s a nice way of saying that, I’m taken.

Jake:
Or they’re just sort of saying ‘I’m tired of being hit on all the time.’

Marni:
They could be, but overall, they’re saying ‘I’m taken, you’re not going to get anywhere with me’, though it can be an ‘..Unless you can show me something else, because what you’re doing right now is not working, I’m not turned on, I’ve lost my lady boner for you and it’s not working so step it up or step out’.

Jake:
Okay, so the friend-zone.

Marni:
I would say that the only one that puts you in the friend-zone is you. A lot of guys say ‘Oh, she’s put me in the friend-zone’ and I’m like ‘No, no, you put you in the friend-zone. She did not do anything. She’s treating you like a friend because that’s the way that she sees you, and you are the one that put yourself in the friend-zone, which means that you have the power to eject yourself from the friend-zone at any time.

Jake:
Okay, so how do you do that? Every guy listening wants to know, because we’ve all been there!

Marni:
Well there’s a few different things. It really goes hand in hand with what we were talking about in the beginning – if you’re going to act like a friend, you’re going to get a friendship. If you’re going to act like something more, you could potentially get something more. Unless you’re actually acting like a real friend – the friend who calls you out and challenges you, who is not afraid to fart in front of you. Those are real friends, but what guys typically end up doing when they’re in the friend-zone, is they act like the fake version of themselves. It’s like what I was talking about before about polite emails to women, it’s the same thing: It’s always like these polite words that get exchanged with the girls that you’re in the friend-zone with. It’s never risqué, it’s ever really saying what you mean, it’s very polite. I don’t want to say ‘nice’, because I don’t want to attach the term ‘nice’ to being negative, because I actually don’t believe that being nice gets you negative results with women. It’s being a wimp that gets you negative results with women. Being nice is actually a good thing. It’s typically a guy trying to show a woman how great a man he is or how great a boyfriend he could be, and those things are not attractive in the very beginning. Complimenting, being there for the girl; that’s not interesting to her in the beginning. She wants to see excitement, she wants to see that this guy has value, she wants to see that he has a social circle, she wants to see he’s driven, she wants to see that he’s a leader, she wants to see that he can disagree with her in a composed and confident way, not in a baby, arrogant, aggressive, foot pounding on the floor way. Once you start acting like a non-friend, that’s when you have a better chance of actually getting what you want with women.

Jake:
OKay, so acting like a non-friend – so that includes calling her out, disagreeing, not being overly polite, right? You listed a few things there.

Marni:
Yeah, those sound like horrible things the way you just listed it!

Jake:
I know they do, out of context, but I think you’re right. I think those are just these turn-offs that make you look like some wimpy guy.

Marni:
Exactly. I think a lot of guys are afraid to show their personalities. There’s one guy that I was working with yesterday, and it’s so funny because he was saying how much work he’d been doing on himself, I talked to him on the phone and I said ‘God, you sound so confident, you must have a lot of girls going after you if you present what you’re showing to me on the phone – if this is how you are, you must have a lot of girls being attracted to you and contacting you.’ He said ‘Yes, I do, but I want this one girl.’ So I was asking him about what the difference is between how he acts with these other girls and with the one girl that he wants. He said ‘Oh, well, I’m bold with the other girls – I tease them, I challenge them, I’m not available on a whim to hang out with them, I’m a little bit more aloof because I have my life to get back to, and I’m a little cheeky so I joke around with them and banter.’ So I said ‘Okay, what are you doing with this girl that you like?’ He showed me some of the texts that he’s been sending her, and I was like ‘This is the most boring text I’ve ever read in my life! It’s so freaking polite – how are you doing? Are you glad to be home from school? Oh, you must be having a tough time getting used to your new neighbor’. 

Jake:
Like talking to one of your girlfriends.

Marni:
They’re Ned Flanders statements. And not even, I would never talk to my girlfriend that way.

Jake:
Okay, so give us an example of the right text in that context.

Marni:
Oh, so you can totally bust your balls. He was telling me that this girl had gone through a bad breakup and she’s sort of been a bit of a hermit, so I was like ‘Rumor has it you’ve been stuck in your house for the past 8 weekends in a row. People are going to start to think you’re X, Y and Z.’ So something that’s teasing her in some way and treating it like a joke that again, isn’t polite. It’s not afraid to rock the boat or to lose the attraction. That comes with practice – being able to make statements like that to people instead of being so contrived and controlled in what you’re trying to put out there.

Jake:
Yeah, I agree. Good stuff, well, Marni, give out your website and tell people where they can find out more about you.

Marni:
Yeah, they can go to www.WingGirlMethod.com, and I also have a podcast called The Ask Women Podcast, which you can get on iTunes. It’s free, it’s awesome, but thanks for talking with me.

Jake:
Thanks for sharing some of this stuff; it’s awesome. Check out www.WingGirlMethod.com and thanks for joining us.

Marni:
Okay, cool, thank you!

Outro:
This show is produced by the Hartman Media Company, all rights reserved. For publication rights and media interviews, please visit www.HartmanMedia.com or email media@hartmanmedia.com. This show is for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered personal or professional advice. Please consult an appropriate professional if you require individualized advice. Opinions of guests are their own and the host is acting on behalf of the Hartman Media Company, exclusively. 

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