November, 2012

standard What We’re Swankful for in 2012

2012. What a year it’s been. While we might have just re-elected a socialist president (along with a buffoon of a veep), and Wall Street continues to function as a thinly disguised version of the modern mafia, swanksters like us still have a lot to be thankful – err, SWANKful for – this year. Don’t ever let the crap media’s version of life in America drag you down. Things could always be worse. You could be rotting away in a tropical hell of a jungle prison where guards shove bamboo shoots under your fingernails every hour on the hour and force you to watch Dora the Explorer all day long.
See what we mean? It can always be worse.
But, as the year draws to a close and we reflect …

standard The Unswankiest Vote of All

We won’t spend too much time wailing and gnashing our teeth in the aftermath of an election day hangover. Obama won. We may not like it but at tad over half the country does. As Bill O’Reilly said last night, we’ve become a nation of people who want the government to give them stuff and last night’s results prove it. Put another way, we’ve become a nation of people who want the government to take stuff from people who have earned it and give it to people who haven’t. This is called redistribution. Our Founding Fathers weren’t big fans of the idea and we consider it very unswanky.
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While the stark prospect of a second Obama term gives us the heebie jeebies for …