Single dads used to have to hang out in the produce section of the grocery store and pretend like they were studying vegetables until a woman noticed him. In the event she didn’t call the store manager or police and report him for suspected perversion, she might take the time to engage in an actual conversation, or maybe not. The point is that the dating population gets a mite slim for a dad with kids who doesn’t want to hang around in bars.
If you’re one of those guys feeling a little inadequate about your dating and pickup skills and find yourself surfing the Internet looking for tips from the plethora of “gurus” out there with products to sell, you’re probably going to feel like you’ve stumbled across a foreign language. Don’t worry. Lots of AFC’s have been where you are right now. The first trick to the trade is figuring out what the heck they’re talking about.
Here’s a quick guide to a few of the most used terms.
It wasn’t so long ago that our society operated on a strictly division of gender basis. Women stayed at home, raised children and cooked meals. Men, harkening back to their macho cave man predecessor, stomped off to the factory, office, or whichever place of business they had convinced to trade time for money. This arrangement persisted for a few thousand years, for better or for worse, until something happened.
<a rel="attachment wp-att-383" href="http://swanklife.com/?attachment_id=383"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-383" src="http://swanklife.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/170739189_222877fd62_m-150×150.jpg" alt="SwankLife.com" width="150" height="150" /></a>Apparently, when we're talking about love, it's all about the dopamine. A recent study conducted by UCLA came to the conclusion that touch and even the very sight of a loved one can ease the sensation of pain to a large extent. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and researcher in the field who has been studying and writing books on the topic of human love for years, puts it this way, "The brain is built to respond. We are an animal that is built to love."
a rel=”attachment wp-att-377″ href=”http://swanklife.com/blog/living-on-mars-and-venus/attachment/3820655048_514eff9051_m/”>Physical difference notwithstanding, have you ever noticed that men and women aren’t the same in the brain? Hmm, now that we think about it, only about every time one or the other opens their mouth. Are we really that different? According to Dr. John Gray, author of the long-time bestselling book, Men are from Mar, Women are from Venus, each gender has a diametrically different communication style, which we hope is providing some entertainment value to whoever is in charge of planning these things.
The HBO television series turned movie franchise, Sex and the City, coined the term, “He’s just not that into you.” The dirty little secret is that body language hardly ever lies and the average single male needs to learn how to read what she’s saying with her mannerisms no matter what words are presently spilling forth. Face it, guys. Most of us don’t have a clue what’s going on inside the head of the woman we’re with. We need all the help we can get, and a few contextual body language clues might be just the ticket to taking advantage when the situation is right or ending up with a drink poured on our head.
Perhaps only slightly less stressful than being locked in a room with a ravenous lion, poisonous snakes, African killer bees, and a live culture of the Bubonic Plague virus, is walking up to a woman you’ve never met before and starting a conversation. Knees quiver. Stomach churns. Mouth dry and tongue suddenly thickly immobile. What do you say to avoid appearing to be a total buffoon?
Conventional wisdom used to say that it was always the woman who kept her eye peeled for the upwardly mobile, wealthy, successful man to latch onto and enjoy the ride to the top. Some people call it gold digging – we prefer the term “common sense.” Almost half a century after it began in earnest in the 1960’s, the feminist movement has implanted its will on the public at large (for better and for worse, in our opinion) and the ultimate equalizer has arrived to change the game: the male gold digger.
Back when our country was more patriarchal in nature, society didn’t provide much of an opportunity for a woman to earn her own wealth in business, climb to the top of the corporate ladder, or make her name in politics. In case you haven’t noticed, those days are long gone. Cases in point – Oprah Winfrey, Meg Whitman, and Sarah Palin. These three ladies have each taken a gentleman along for a dizzying ride through the stratosphere of fame and wealth. Did these guys set out to gold dig their way to the top on the pants suit tails of a smart cookie of a woman?
Like it or not, think it’s crass and boorish or not, an entire industry has grown up around the concept of dating or speed seduction, if you will. The great thing about Swank Life is we bring you the stuff that matters, ignore what doesn’t, and do it all in an environment that you’re not afraid to show to your kid sister. One term used frequently in reference to how receptive a woman is to you is called her “buying temperature.” Don’t fritz out. We’re not being sensationalistic here – well, maybe just a little – but the idea behind it is dead serious.
Conventional wisdom says tall, dark, and handsome (TDH) gets the girl, but what if you’re short, pasty, and gruesome (SPG)? Does that mean you should start researching nearby celibate monasteries? Whether or not you want to become a monk is a personal decision, though you shouldn’t proceed on the false assumption that your vertical challenge and physical appearance is holding you back from meeting the Super Hot Babe walking her chihuahua in the park.